POWER HIT - Stories that Hit Me Real Hard - Patching the X-Ray

I am sharing the various stories and lessons that I learnt during my various spiritual camps that I have attended in the Himalayas.

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Stories that Hit Me Real Hard - "Patching the X-Ray"

The Story:

Once, a man met with an accident and broke his back. He went to doctor in writhing pain. The doctor took a couple of X-rays and called him for a discussion. 

The doctor said, "You have badly damaged your back. You need a surgery right away"

The man asked the doctor, "What does it mean in terms of money and time"

The doctor said, "It would cost you 40,000 Dollars. You have to be hospitalized and be horizontal for 6 months!"

The man asked, "Isn't there a cheaper solution that takes lesser time?"

The doctor thought for a few minutes and said, "Yes. There IS a 5 Dollar solution that takes just 20 minutes"

The man was very excited and said, "I would go for that solution then. What should I do?"

The doctor said, "Just go down the road and there is a guy who patches X-rays for 5 Dollars"

My Thoughts

In different contexts, many of us prefer the "Patching the X-ray" solution instead of the much needed surgery. This renders the X-ray as the problem and not what it reveals!!

As an example, when someone shares a hard-feedback to us, each time we approach them, we tend to avoid that person!! Avoiding that person is conceptually the same as "Patching the X-ray"! Isn't it?

We avoid/dislike the source that reveals the problem and eventually convert that source as the problem! We find it difficult to take hard feedback from our spouses, parents, children, team members--and consequently, everyone, over a period of time, start to say things that we "like to hear"! What we actually get is a pre-patched X-ray!

Many of us, after we make a presentation, seek feedback from the audience quite willingly, only when we ourselves feel that the presentation has gone off well!! Wow! In fact, many presenters who know that I am a "Presentation Skills Trainer", don't even come anywhere near me after their presentations! :-) :-)

I have found this in flights too, wherein if I had cribbed about some issues, they skillfully avoid giving me the feedback form! The captain never comes out of his cabin, if the landing was not that good!

I have found this trend in my consulting experience too. Many senior leaders are not ready to face the truth--in terms of real issues within their companies--much of the issues arising out of their own leadership!! They do say, "Pls be frank and blunt Ranga"--well, I have learned to smile, when I hear this!!

No wonder, Jim Collins in his wonderful book "Good to Great", describes great companies as those who have the courage to face "brutal facts". He has found this as a key pattern in Great Companies. 

I am sure that the same is true of Great People too!


(If you think this post would benefit others, pls share the link on your timeline!!)

Demystifying Growth

Growth and Contribution are two cardinal needs of a Human Being. However, there is a huge mist around both the words!

This blog post addresses Growth.

It is indeed a profound thought... "the quality of our life depends on the quality of our decisions"!

Any decision that we take is never between Right and Wrong--because, no one takes a decision if it is known already that it is wrong! Hence, the decisions that we make are always between Right and Right, each time!

Many of us lose precious years traveling in a direction that was actually not the desired one (a realisation that dawns on us much later!)...

While making decisions relating to Growth, we have to to be clear of the answers to many questions. Some of the key ones are listed below:

• Is Growth same as Progress?

• How are Growth and Success connected?

• What are the different Dimensions in which one should seek Growth?

• What is Growth, actually? In whose eyes?

• Can I deliberately choose not to grow?

• What is the price that I need to pay for the choice i make? Am I really willing to pay that cost?

• Should Growth be small and consistent or should Growth be in spurts?

• Should Growth be visible to the outer world?

• How to value Growth? Who should value?

• Does contentment mean lack of Growth?

• What is Holistic Growth?

With a view to bring in more clarity on this key topic, I have uploaded the video of my session done on "Demystifying Growth", in TechED 2011, for Microsoft.

Pls view the video below...

Demystifying Growth - Video

Wellness - 4 - Patterns

This concept of “Know Yourself” started to eat me up.

I went to my Doctor and said “I want to know myself”… he suggested a full medical checkup!

I went to my teacher and said the same thing. He said, “If you didn’t know in so many years… you will never know!”

I went to a spiritual person and said the same thing. He suggested that I read scriptures, do meditation and start contemplation!!

Give me a break!

Just as I sat exasperated, a technical book on 'Design Patterns' caught my eye—a popular book written by the 'Gang of Four'! A deep flash of thoughts ran inside my mind. Much of scientific discovery has happened by studying patterns over a period. Many paradigms have emerged through study of patterns. Why can’t I apply the same to 'knowing myself'!

• Does my body send out signals as a pattern over a period of time?
• Does my mind generate thoughts as a pattern over a period of time?
• Do these patterns reveal great truths about me to myself?
• Is it the pattern that reveals the truth or is it a 'change' in the usual pattern that reveals something or is it both?

Oh! I seem to have some direction in self discovery! I realised that 'allergy' is the simplest example for 'patterned talk' by the body towards an input. Suddenly, the expressions 'observe yourself—your body, breath, thoughts, 'listen to your body' etc., made a deeper sense to me, now!

We want others to listen to us; some of us want to become better listeners—again to what others are saying… 

but what about listening to ourselves?

Our body is a relentless communicator—that doesn’t ‘give up’ even when we refuse to listen; quite unfortunately the language of communication is not verbal! I wish our body could send out an email—maybe we will pay better attention!!

The key aspect to understand here is that the 'patterns' are different for different people due to the variation in the constitution of the Body-Mind-Senses, even at birth!!

Let me initiate the first action in this direction—start observing patterns in different aspects of myself for a period of time and start to notice changes in the pattern subsequently.

A good starting point is to observe the patterns around the 'three great body patterns'—Appetite, Digestion and Sleep.

Some questions in this regard could be (this list is only indicative and certainly not exhaustive)

• Under what circumstances, do I ‘feel’ hungry?
• How many hours of sleep make me wake up fresh?
• What is the pattern in the movement of my bowels?

First step is awareness—next step is action driven by specific and measurable goals.

(... to be continued)

Wellness - 3 - Know Yourself

My door bell rang.

It was one of my friends—making a surprise visit saying that he was passing by. “Could I just drop-in to say a Hi?” He asked with a brimming smile.

I was happy seeing him too, after a long time. I offered him a cup of coffee.

“My goodness, no! I am on a ‘health-program’ and I take only water”

I remarked, half-jokingly, “Before food or after food?”

He smiled and replied, “Many times, instead of food!”

He explained to me, pretty passionately, about Hydrotherapy and its benefits; about the connection between our body and water, and so on. The irresistible aroma of deep-fried samosas wafted in through my neighbour’s window. Briefly, I toyed with the idea of dropping in to my neighbour’s house, making it look like a casual visit!

I can resist anything but temptation, I thought.

Hours after my friend left, I was still ruminating over the strong connection between Wellness and Hydrotherapy, when my father walked in and asked me if I could drop him at his friend’s house. As we were driving, I asked my father, “Who is this friend? What is he?”

My father said, “He is a very inspiring person. At the ripe old age of 96, he washes his own cloths, sits and sleeps only on the floor, lives all by himself and is pretty active & robust!”

“Gosh!” I thought to myself. “Here’s my golden chance to understand more lucidly about Wellness. After all, one of the main objectives of Wellness is to live long and well. Isn’t it?”

My father’s friend was pretty delighted to see me. He started off our conversation straightaway with a very pointed question about the dark circles around my eyes. I quickly deflected the topic and asked him about Hydrotherapy. 

He seemed amused, actually!

He said, to my utter shock, “I have not drunk a drop of water since 50 years--except what is contained naturally in food items!”

Imagine! Fifty years without drinking even a single drop of water!!

He also added that some of his friends too, were like him—no water has touched their lips! And, by the way, this man has the habit of consuming at least 50 grams of ghee each day!

Here was I, before meeting this gentleman, thinking I had one clear answer for Wellness! And now?

HELP! My only point of clarity has been smashed to smithereens by Destiny.

I came home feeling that I am back to square one. A very powerful thought flashed across my mind.

“God takes extreme care in creating each one of us unique—whereas we spend our lifetime comparing ourselves with others or the other way about!”

I now understood what this actually meant. The first truth about Wellness dawned on me. 

“Wellness is personal.”

Wellness may exist when we do something or not do something, when we think something or not think something, when we feel something or not feel something. Whatever be it, what leads one person attain Wellness could very well lead another lose it totally!!

“One man’s food is another man’s poison” How true!

I got a firm grip on the starting point for gaining Wellness.

Know yourself (body-mind-senses constitution), than compare/wonder about others!

(... to be continued)

Wellness - 2 - Foundation

As the days passed, my mind was totally occupied with thoughts of Wellness. I became quite contemplative both at home and at work.

What is the foundation for Wellness?

Once, a famous business leader was traveling abroad on a fund-raising mission for his new multi-million dollar dream project. His business group had a great pedigree of success and astounding credibility. This gentleman who was very fond of exotic food and drinks weighed over 100 kilos! 'All round personality' in a different sense!!

He met a group of venture capitalists and presented his group’s enviable financial statements—with a view to attract fresh investments. One of the well known investors asked him a very pointed question—that both embarrassed and rattled him beyond imagination.

“Gentleman, don’t you think you should be as fit as your balance sheet? We are putting our money on you, the Leader!”

The business leader was stunned at the truth in the question and the criticality of 'fitness' in his role as a corporate leader. He came back to India, worked on himself tirelessly, became fit as a fiddle and also became a marathon runner in just a couple of years. He now weighed 68 kilos with an appropriate BMI. He returned to the investor group abroad and seemed to have asked “Would you put your money on me now?” The rest, as they say, is history.

Health and Fitness are the key ingredients to success in life in general and to professional life in particular. I was wondering that if this truth is so simple, then why aren’t more professionals focusing (in action) on their own health and fitness? 

I thought of polling some people. I chose a very senior corporate professional, who was known for his busy schedule and someone who took immense pride in saying that “the best place to surely catch me is the Airport!” (He usually followed this statement with a loud laugh).

I asked him “Are you at the Airport?” He laughed aloud and said, “For a change, I am at home.”

Gosh! This triggered another barrage of thoughts in my mind on the connection between Wellness and family, work-life integration, and so on. I stopped my thoughts saying, “I will surely write about these in my future posts”.

I asked my friend about his thoughts on health and fitness, quite directly. I heard a loud pause at the other end. He said, “I know it is critical, but I am too busy to focus on it now. I join a gym every year in January, but don’t go beyond the first week, you know. As of now, I feel I am healthy and fit—just look at the kind of travel I do. Nothing seems to be wrong, after all.”

After my conversation with my friend, I recalled what I read in a book by a well known Management Guru, Stephen Covey:

“Health is in the ‘Critical and Not Urgent’ zone for many people. Most people handle something only when it comes to ‘Critical and Urgent’ zone”... How true!

I realised that ‘Health and Fitness’ are two key pillars of foundation in Wellness.

(… to be continued)

Wellness - 1 - Preamble

I just finished my dinner with my family and then checked on some articles that discussed India’s prospect in the next world cup cricket—after the debacle in South Africa and New Zealand. As I sat down comfortably to write this blog post, my little daughter came around and jumped on to my lap; I was about to say “don’t disturb me”, when she lovingly put her hands around my neck and looked at me with a radiant smile. I closed my laptop, realising that she is just about the best 'laptop' I can ever have!

“Are you busy Papa?” she probed. 

“Yes dear, but I can do this later” I said. 

She needs a haircut, my clinical mind remarked. 

“What were you doing, anyway?” she probed further, as if feeling guilty for disturbing me. She was smart enough to notice that my eyes were still on my laptop.

“I am writing an article, dear”.

“On what subject?” she looked intrigued.

“On Wellness”.

“Oh! What is ‘Wellness’ Papa?”

I was about to give her an answer quite reflexively—but I checked myself and gave her a deep stare—she had indeed, quite accidentally, asked me a very profound question. She got off my lap and ran away jumping as if she had springs in her toes.

Did I hear her thought “Papa doesn’t have the answer?”

I closed my eyes. I felt swamped by the torrent of questions that started to flood my mind. The place became disconcertingly quiet but for the slight whirring of the fan that seemed to be working in overdrive, as if to reduce the heat that was steadily building up inside my head.

 

Is Wellness the same as good health or fitness? Is it the same as happiness? Is it real or perceived? Is it a mere emotion or feeling?

I slowly walked to the balcony and noticed that a construction worker was blissfully sleeping on a pile of stones and sand in front of my house. I quickly recalled my rich friend telling me that he is unable to sleep since many years albeit on a cozy bed! 

Who is enjoying Wellness between the two? 

By now, I was getting visibly jittery on the subject. 

The awesome challenge that i have picked up dawned on me quite startlingly. I cannot afford to merely scratch the surface on this subject; especially not with the audience I am addressing—I certainly have to dive deep. A thought hit my mind, as I slowly walked back to my reading room.  

“Wellness is actually simple; it is only the lack of it that gets complicated!”

(… to be continued)